When something bothers Sergio Garcia — whether it’s justified or not — he can’t seem to help but whine.

After being clobbered by Ian Poulter in the semifinals of the Accenture Match Play Championship, Serg insisted (see above), “You should have played it, you should have played it!”

/sniffle-sniffle

He was referring to the line of sight ruling dispute on the 7th hole. Poulter requested a free drop because of the TV tower that stood between his ball and the pin. Sergio — who was on the green but 80 feet away, mind you — even backed up Poults to the old, cranky rules official. Twenty minutes and two officials later, Poults was granted relief, but his drop would have given him a worse lie. So he justifiably chose to play it from the original spot.

Well, apparently Serg had a problem that Poults didn’t take the drop after stirring up such a scene. But Poults did nothing wrong. He was simply exploring his options in an important match, so he could take the next best shot. His ball was in a tough spot, but it wasn’t bad enough for him to simply concede the hole. He was probably also thinking, “Well, Sergio has 80 feet, and you know, the odds of him three-putting aren’t bad.”

Dude, Serg, get over it. You got beat 7&6. You even managed to make a six-footer under pressure to win that hole. What’s the point of making a fuss — particularly before Poults had even picked up his ball?

Whether he’s whining about Augusta being “unfair” and “too hard” or blaming the ghosts at Carnoustie for losing the British Open, it’s always something with him.

But more important, what the hell is on his neck?

The Pebble Beach Pro-Am isn’t what it used to be. Back when it was the Crosby Clambake, Bing Crosby gathered some of his closest buddies together for this annual event. You know, like Frank Sinatra, Fred Astaire and Dean Martin, just to name a few — it was packed with A-listers you’d see walking down the red carpet, but instead they were playing down the fairway alongside a bunch of pro golfers.

Sadly, the Crosby name isn’t attached to the tournament anymore. But that’s okay, a telecommunications company is almost as appealing. So much that the event now attracts a few big names — like Bill Murray, Kevin Costner and Clint Eastwood. Wait, what?

Kevin Costner begged off because he was touring with his band. Bill Murray pulled out of Wednesday’s goofball celebrity event allegedly to baby a bum knee, so he could play in today’s more serious opening round of the AT&T Pebble Beach Pro-Am. And local legend Clint Eastwood put his fierce face into mothballs years ago.

Oh well, at least Murray is still playing the actual tournament.

Let’s check out the rest of the celebs and the pairings. It’s honestly not as C-list as I expected. Naturally, Rickie “The 20 Year Old Heartthrob Who Is Supposed to Save the PGA Tour” Fowler is paired with Chris “Where Did My Career Go?” O’Donnell. They’re playing with Ryo “I Like My Clothes to Match My Caddy’s” Ishikawa and Lucas “You Might Remember That I Look Really Good in Calvin Klein Jeans” Black. So, let’s call this foursome, “Where the PGA Tour’s It Boys Meet Hollywood’s Washed-Up It Boys.”

Also naturally, Josh Duhamel is paired with Sergio Garcia. Kate Hudson’s brother and Daniel Chopra complete that group. Tony Romo, who is a better golfer than quarterback, is teamed up with John Daly. Surely the fans are super stoked to watch Chris “I’m With You, Leather” Berman, who, as you can see above, is clearly wondering what the f#ck he’s doing there, too.

Thank God for Kenny G, Michael Bolton and Huey Lewis. And at least Homo Romo brought his latest blonde thing.

[Photo by Stuart Franklin/Getty Images]

Professional golfers Natalie Gulbis, Rocco Mediate and Duffy Waldorf will play themselves on this Thursday’s episode of “CSI: Crime Scene Investigation.” CBS’s favorite funnymen David Feherty and Gary McCord will also make cameos.

The episode, titled “Long Ball,” revolves around a “legendary” golfer who is murdered at a “high-profile tournament.”

Gulbis blogged about her experience and posted the above photo of herself on the set with — I’m assuming — other cast members at LPGA.com:

I am a huge fan of CSI and have been watching the show for many years. I was thrilled when recently asked to make a guest appearance! I especially enjoyed having the opportunity to experience the process of how an episode of a show comes together. I was able to watch firsthand beginning with the first time I read the script, to then being on site of the episode watching the crew film. It was an incredibly unique experience. I can’t wait to see how it comes together when the show is edited and airs. I feel that the fact that CSI asked professional golfers to make guest appearances is a testament to how much the sport is growing in popularity in the US.

Now I’m not sure if I entirely agree with that last statement and I believe Jim Frank would challenge it. Apparently while TV viewership and corporate sponsorships have increased in the past decade, participation in the sport hasn’t.

But considering the LPGA schedule features only 24 events, down from 27 last year and 34 in ‘08, any publicity is a positive. Gulbis is a great representative given her tremendous popularity among male fans for her cheery personality and swimsuit calendar. But will this generate a larger LPGA following? A small percentage might be enticed to ogle at the ladies playing good golf, but not enough to move the bar — every little bit helps, though.

As for Mediate and Waldorf, it appears the script was written to cast middle-aged, doughy golfers — you know, the stereotype of professional golfers — to reinforce that outdated image. Too bad it didn’t call for younger, more entertaining guys, such as Anthony Kim, Camilo Villegas, Adam Scott, Sergio Garcia or even Sean O’Hair, who I suppose wouldn’t have been relatable to the show’s target demographic.

Oh well, I’ll still watch. /Setting DVR for CSI, 9PM on Thursday.

[Photo via LPGA.com]

Monty targeted Poulter for opting not to play in this week’s Vivendi Trophy match. Poulter joined seven other players that turned down their invitations. Padraig Harrington and Luke Donald are playing in the Tour Championship, and Paul Casey and Martin Kaymer are injured. Sergio Garcia, Lee Westwood and Justin Rose didn’t have commitments this week.

Apparently Monty and Poulter have a feud that traces back to last year’s Ryder Cup. Poulter didn’t play in the last qualifying event because he banked on Nick Faldo’s captain pick. As Monty likes to do, he voiced his objections and Poulter responded with his own strong words. It soon escalated to a heated disagreement between them via the media.

So that would explain why Monty chose to direct criticism solely toward Poulter.

I spoke to Miguel Angel Jiménez. He’s never missed one of these and never would miss one. Good for him and I’m the same and Paul McGinley the same and Thomas. I haven’t spoken to Ian at all. Please don’t make any big issue of this.

As he should know, it was inevitable to become one.

I would like to focus on the players that are here and not the players that are not. It does give an opportunity for those who would not otherwise have played to impress not just the captains and their team-mates, but me also. You could have over half the [Ryder Cup] team playing here quite easily and it will be interesting to see who performs within a team environment.

So, he’s saying Poulter isn’t a team player. This time around Poulter decided to respond in a civil manner. He explained his decision via Twitter.

It would have been great to play the seve trophy, but the schedule becomes very difficult to play every event, so important not to burn out

And he wants to spend time with his family because he’ll be away for six straight weeks starting in November. Understandable. Because of the Tour’s schedule, the last few months were a tiring, long stretch for most players.

It also doesn’t seem like he’s offended by the comments as he added that Monty will be an inspiring Ryder Cup captain. At least Poulter has learned not to add more fuel to the fire.

[h/t Shane Bacon/FanHouse]

He’s currently exploring patent opportunities to develop the PGA’s first “dick mount.”

Paging the PGA Tour’s class of young rising stars. What’s happened to them this year? I’m talking about guys like Anthony Kim, Adam Scott, Camilo Villegas and even Sergio Garcia (who isn’t that young anymore but fits in the category). They all have multiple wins on Tour, but ‘09 hasn’t treated them well.

Perhaps they’ve become complacent. They never had to fight hard for their early successes. AK and Camilo won twice last year. Adam won a tournament each year between 2006-2008. Sergio only has two victories on the Tour. Aside from Camilo, who has made 16 of 18 cuts this season, the others haven’t even been in contention on a consistent basis. Sergio had a chance last week, but in standard Serg style, he choked. None of them have won a major.

Sure, AK and Adam have dealt with injuries. Adam is also tweaking his swing. Then there are his girl problems — similar story to Sergio. (Don’t even get me started.) We know break-ups are tough, but they should be able to separate their professional and personal lives. Think about it this way: The majority of people have a “regular” day job and they still show up to work and get it done. Yes, golf is more mental, but that’s not a valid excuse. Man up.

These players have it all — money, lucrative endorsement deals, fame, private jets, girls, whatever their hearts desire. AK has had a mediocre year at best, but he’s won almost $2 million. The effort is fairly minimal yet the rewards are quite high. Perhaps this has made them a bit lazy. No doubt they practice, but how much? I’m not saying they’re not “trying,” but there’s not as much on the line for them.

Or is it their “bomb and gouge it” style? They’re excellent ballstrikers, but other than AK, they struggle with putting (ahem, Adam and Serg).

Of course, the fields have become more competitive over the past few years. Winning isn’t easy — Tiger Woods has skewed our perception, making it look somewhat effortless. Other than Tiger simply being a super-human, he truly thinks he can win every time. If he’s not at the very top of the leaderboard at the end of Sunday, he might as well have finished DFL.

It seems like some players don’t necessarily care about winning because even if they finish in the middle of the pack, they still make a good living. Look at Stewart Cink — before he won his first major, the British Open, he was already 10th on the all-time PGA career money list. While he’s played on Tour for about 15 years, he “only” has 6 victories. He’s a great player, but isn’t necessarily considered a marquee player, so to speak.

Golf needs big stars like AK and Camilo. They’re fun to watch and more important, they’re great personalities. Fans like myself want to see them in contention regularly. In the last decade or so, Retief Goosen, Jim Furyk, Ernie Els and Vijay Singh consistently won or were always in contention — they’ll still be competitive on Tour for a while, but their time is limited and they aren’t exactly the most captivating guys. It’s time for the current generation to replace them. They need to rise to the occasion. Tiger drives ratings and the sport’s popularity, but it’d certainly be a boost if we could turn on the TV every Sunday and see those names week in and week out.

Hopefully this year has just been an anomaly. It’d be a shame to waste so much talent.

With all that said, what can give the players more incentive to finish better consistently?

Adam Scott played terribly. Again. When it seemed like it couldn’t get any worse, Scott shot 82 in the first round of the PGA Championship. Yeah, 82! He even birdied the 18th hole. Last week, he opened with a 78 at the WGC-Bridgestone.

It’s been the same story this year. Only last June at the US Open, he was the world’s number three ranked player. Now he’s dropped to 44th. He’s missed 8 cuts and you can make that 9 after today — unless he shoots, like, 59.

We’ve all been wondering what has happened to the player who was formerly dubbed one of the Tour’s rising stars. Several possibilities have been considered. Injuries. Break-up with long-term girlfriend last year (a la Sergio). More girls. Swing changes. Bad putting.

Here’s the real one: Kate Hudson.

Let’s start with Owen Wilson. After their six-month relationship (which ended her marriage to Chris Robinson), Hudson started dating Dax Shepard. Wilson was devastated - so badly that he cut his wrists. Love makes you do crazy things sometimes. Poor Dax seems to have vanished off the face of the earth after his Hudson tryst. And then, she was briefly linked to Lance Armstrong…who went on to lose the Tour de France this year.

In January, it was reported she was dating Scott when the two were spotted frolicking on the beach in Hawaii. She joined him in Kapalua while he was playing in the Mercedes Championship. He played decently, finishing T18. Things must have really spiced up with Hudson, though. The following week, he placed second at the Sony Open. But that was the last time we’d see him in contention. He didn’t compete again until March when his not-so-gradual decline began. After two mediocre tournaments, he jumped on the MC train with six in a row.

Not surprisingly, his disastrous turn comes just as Hudson started seeing New York Yankee Alex Rodriguez, who was subsequently outed as a performance enhancing drug user, then sidelined through May with a hip injury.

So you see, Scott had no chance.

UPDATE: Scott shot 79 in the second round, finishing only ahead of 5 club professionals. Yeah. Now it’s rumored him and swing coach Butch Harmon are taking a “break.” Perhaps he should schedule a few sessions with Dr. Phil, too.

After Round 1 at Hazeltine, your leader is Tiger Woods. And we’re all shocked. He shot a bogey-free 67. While he didn’t putt that well, his ball striking was probably the best it’s been all season. He was hitting fairways — which he didn’t do consistently even when he won the past two weeks. Game over. It’s usually silly to say that with three rounds left. But this is Tiger. He’s won 7 of 11 majors when he’s carded a score in the 60s on Thursday.

As you may have heard, he hasn’t secured a major title this year, which he has to do to complete his comeback. Because winning 5 tournaments in less than a year after having knee surgery doesn’t count for anything.

Playing alongside Tiger was his new BFF, Padraig Harrington, who trails by one shot. He finished last week on a sour note with the triple-bogey on the 16th hole in his now (in)famous battle with Tiger. Well, he’s recovered nicely — as any marquee player should — showing that he has, in fact, found his swing. Don’t let his mild temperament fool you, he’s ready to strike back this week, in a major, no less.

As the two walked off the 18th green last Sunday, Paddy said to Tiger, “We’ll do battle again.” Perhaps it’ll be sooner than we expected. Now that’d be a great story.

In related news, Phil “FIGJAM” Mickelson fired a stellar two-over-par 74 (which included a double-bogey on 10). Nothing was working for the world’s number two ranked golfer — hitting errant drives, missing greens and putts. He was quickly discrediting his famous “Secrets of the Short Game” DVD. His short game looked, well, let’s just say, not up to par. He even hit a relatively easy pitch in the bunker. Ouch.

Vijay Singh played a solid round, carding 3-under-par 69. He’s T3 along with Robert Allenby, Matthew Goggin, Hunter Mahan, Alvaro Quiros and David Toms.

Rich Beem, who won the PGA Championship at Hazeltine in ‘02, shot 71. Sergio “I’ve yet to win my first major but first I need to learn how to putt” Garcia also finished the day with 71.

[Photo by Jamie Squire/Getty Images]

The PGA Championship at Hazeltine starts tomorrow. It’s that time again — yeah, my favorite guessing game. I pick…Adam Scott! I kid, I kid. But he has played decently at past PGA Championships, notwithstanding last year. (His best finish was T3 in ‘06 at Medinah.) He just can’t putt for the life of him! More important, he needs to get this girl out of his head before he can think about winning again. Maybe this new distraction is helping, though.

I’ve only heard a few times Hazeltine is playing really long — 7,674 yards to be precise. So obviously the bombers have an added advantage; same goes for the good ball strikers that hit a high fade. But what it really comes down to — especially in majors — is putting. Even if you’re not hitting the ball that well, it drives confidence and momentum. It’s all about having the right mindset in golf, yeah? Yeah.

Here’s who I like (read: I’m not saying they’ll win necessarily).

Tiger Woods: Obviously. Two wins in a row, four PGA Championship titles, runner-up when it was last played at Hazeltine in ‘02, yada, yada, yada. He has to win or else it’ll only be the fourth time in his career that he hasn’t won a major. God forbid. It’s not like he hasn’t already won 5 tournaments this year.

Padraig Harrington: Your defending champion. After the heartbreaker last week, he’s a sentimental favorite, not to mention he’s just so likable. Even Tiger speaks up and commends him; perhaps more than I’ve heard him praise anyone. Paddy is a good putter, too.

FIGJAM…I mean, (gosh, why do I keep doing that?) Phil Mickelson: Break out the tissues if he wins. He’s such the people’s favorite.

Sergio Garcia: Like woah! I’ve never been a fan. I don’t think I ever got over his waggle-stuttering at Bethpage in ‘02. Ugh, then there’s the whining and bashing Augusta. But I’ve heard he’s actually a really good guy; in fact, one of the nicest to play with. If he’s learned how to putt since Sunday, then he’ll win or finish second behind Tiger. ZING!

Martin Kaymer: My dark horse pick. He won back-to-back weeks last month…on the European Tour. Does that count? Maybe for something. But it seems like most of the guys that have had loads of success there can’t seem to win on the PGA Tour (e.g., Miguel Angel Jimenez). Well, the PGA Championship has a history of producing unlikely winners. Rich Beem, anyone?

I like Ian Poulter, too. He was my favorite for the British Open, but he practically finished DFL. As an aside, his tweets are a-mazing. Check out this one.

My blogger’s pick is over at Dogs That Chase Cars. Go HERE (that is, when Shane posts it).

Plunk! It appears Sergio Garcia is having better luck hitting dudes in the head than fairways. He hit 36% of them in Round 1 at WGC-Bridgestone Invitational, but still played well. Serg made some putts (no way!) and shot 68.

The victim looked like he was OK aside from the pain and shock. He even got a handshake and an autographed ball from Serg, who was laughing! I guess that makes possible brain damage — at least a huge lump — worthwhile.