Welcome to Balls in the Air, where I size up my Fantasy Golf picks of the week, featuring guys to watch (or not) and interesting story lines. Disclaimer: Don’t yell at me if my picks suck.

First of all, I’d like to take a second to give myself a big-freaking-high-five for posting this before the tournament started. (I know, finally.)

/HI-5!

Okay, I feel so much better about myself after that. Hoo-ray. Because you all care, I’m sure. Moving on to the picks!

Group A

Phil Mickelson: The defending champ needs to step up after a crappy showing on the West Coast swing. You gotta figure he’s found a new putting stroke by now (though not sure what was wrong with the one from the end of last season). It’s time to get hot, Phil — apparently Tiger is coming back soon, so the time is winding down to move closer to that number-one spot.

Group A Bencher

Steve Stricker: Safe pick…for every week. He’s a fantastic alternate to fill in for a potential no-show Phil. Hell, it would probably be smarter to have Phil on the bench. Stricks surpassed him as the number two in the world rankings after he won the Northern Trust Open. He’s placed in the top-10 in three for three starts.

Group B

Camilo Villegas: Uh, heard he’s playing pretty well on the course in between his job as the ambassador of Colombia. Apparently he has a lot of fans out in Miami (se habla Espanol). I’m told when he came second to Tiger in 2006, he overshadowed him (yes, seriously!). But he’s had more rest and not sleeping in his own bed this week, so might be a gamble.

Jim Furyk: My friend Kevin reminded me that Furyk has an excellent record at Doral (T2 in ‘08 and 3 in ‘09). He also advised me to take Furyk over Rory McIlroy, so if Furyk shoots, like, 76 every day, then I’m taking a hit out on him.

Group B Benchers

Rory McIlroy: The 20-year-old from Northern Ireland will be the first to share cover time with Tiger on Tiger Woods PGA Tour ‘11. He picked up some tips from Jack Nicklaus at lunch last week because he’s eager to learn. And he’s been playing Doral since he was, like, nine.

Geoff Ogilvy: He hasn’t done anything spectacular since he won the season-opening SBS Championship. (Maybe the new baby is keeping him up?) But he sure loves World Golf Championship events with three wins tucked away.

Group C

Paul Casey: Three top-10s in three starts. When asked what he’d say to Tiger on the first tee, he replied, “Nike 1, blue dot. I don’t know, what do you say?” Exactly.

Group C Bencher

Ian Poulter: He won the WGC Match Play Championship. Enough said.

Well, that’s all. Great field this week. For the record, I wanted to pick Alvaros Quiros to shake things up — the dude is fun to watch and hits the ball so far he almost makes J.B. Holmes look like Tim Clark. But I guess I’m laying up while wearing orange pants.

Welcome to Balls in the Air, where I size up my Fantasy Golf picks of the week, featuring guys to watch (or not) and interesting story lines. Disclaimer: Don’t yell at me if my picks suck.

I swear I’m going to get better at posting this on a weekly (and more timely) basis, but mostly it’s because I haven’t come up with lyrics for a “Balls in the Air” theme song. Submissions are welcome.

Group A

Anthony Kim: Aside from the third round 76 at the Phoenix Open, Mr. Shiny Belt Buckle had a great tournament. No word whether he was hitting it hard at the Bird’s Nest on Friday night. Oh, and this is good — he’s paired with Robert Allenby the first two rounds. Fight, fight, fight!

Group A Bencher

Ernie Els: The options were slim, so it was either the Big Easy or someone like Steve Marino. Ernie is off to a quick start with two top-10 finishes at the Farmers Insurance Open and Northern Trust Open. Even though his three-year campaign to challenge Tiger Woods as the world’s number one has expired, maybe it comes with a one-year extension plan.

Group B

Rory McIlroy: Gotta love this kid. More important, he wouldn’t have laid up from 231 yards on a par 5 when he was in contention. At least I hope not.

Camilo Villegas: The flashy Colombian has been playing very well. In two starts, he finished third at the Match Play Championship and T8 at last week’s Phoenix Open, including a 9-under 62 in the first round. After complaining last year about the oh-so-grueling year-long golf schedule, he talked about his overall improvement in attitude and appreciation for the opportunity to play. They grow up so quickly!

Group B Benchers

Y.E. Yang: The defending champ is always a safe pick. He also played well last week despite a mental error, where he dunked it in the water, on the 17th hole last Sunday. But last night on Twitter, he mentioned having back pain. Not a good sign and something went wrong today — he shot (gulp) 79.

J.B. Holmes: I have a soft spot for the slow-moving long hitter after speaking with him last week at the Phoenix Open. Really nice guy. He’s also started the year hot with a runner-up finish at the A&T Pebble Beach Pro-Am and third at the Northern Trust Open.

Group C

Paul Casey: In two starts, he finished runner-up at the Match Play Championship after losing to Ian Poulter in the finals, and T10 at the SBS Championship. Another safe pick. (Honestly, I’m ashamed how boring I’m getting.)

Group C Bencher

Rickie Fowler: I’m still kinda appalled with his gutless play coming down the stretch. John Hawkins summed it up very well, “Hey dude, did it ever cross your mind that you could make an eagle? You’re Rickie Freakin’ Fowler, the New Kid in Town, the second coming of Lanny…You believe, Rickie, because that’s what champions do. Better safe than sorry? Sometimes, they mean the same thing.” Lucky for him he’ll have another chance sooner than later — can’t discredit him for being able to play. As he heads into the Florida swing, it’ll be interesting to see how he does when not on familiar territory.

Alright, leaderboard check! The soft-spoken Australian, Nathan Green, leads with an early 5-under. Some guys called Alexandre Rocha and Michael Connell are tied for second along with Oliver Wilson and Villegas. Watching the telecast, looks like tough conditions with the wind blowing hard.

Someone else to keep an eye on is rookie Alex Prugh. He’s placed in the top-ten three times and made five cuts in five starts. After a few off-weeks, he’s in the clubhouse with a 68 and T10.

I realize I sound like a broken record this week with some of my picks — you know, so-and-so is playing well, which was annoying because it seemed like I have nothing more interesting to say. But if you’ve discovered a formula that doesn’t involve looking at the players’ current season results and their past performance at that tournament or simply going with your gut, then please share. Maybe next week I’ll get a little crazy and point my finger at the screen with my eyes closed and see which name it lands on.

At least Villegas is making me look smart.

I’m regretting my decision to take the redeye back to NYC. Too late, dummy! I only wish I could have seen more players and golf, less media room and especially hotel room. Some quick thoughts before I nap — now I know the Phoenix “Wasted” Open is notorious for being the tournament stop where all sorts of characters who could care less about this sport called golf other than an excuse to gather and drink (lots of) beers on a grassy pasture. Yeah, that’s pretty much it, but I gotta give the crowds credit, it’s pretty awesome. I was like a really, really sober person at a frat party, but that almost made it more interesting. I also have to credit how organized the tournament seemed despite the crowds, drunks, shenanigans, etc.

On Saturday, it was guesstimated a scarce 121,221, down from 160-something-thousand last year. But even if this number was made up from thin air (because, surely their counters are error-proof), that’s impressive for a tailgate golf event.

Here’s an interesting analytics aside: The search “Rickie Fowler girlfriend” returned the most hits to my blog yesterday. As a matter of fact, it’s the most-searched term of the month! I guess Rickie’s relationship status is very topical for at least 640 doting fans (wonder how this breaks down by a/s/l).

Anthony Kim who was T3 going into Saturday fired a 76. Hope he wasn’t out drinking until 4AM. Kidding! AK? No way.

We’ve got a great leaderboard filled with young names for the final round. Let’s see, Brandt Snedeker leads by one stroke over Scott Piercy. Rickie Fowler is T3, two shots back. If he wins, he would become the youngest player to win on Tour since Tiger in ‘96. (Hype, hype, hype!) His outfit sure was…err…blue. But to his credit, he was forced to wear it (he had a “script” this week /shiver). Camilo Villegas sits at T5. In related news, Mark Calcavecchia, who is T6, weighs more than his playing partners, 2.0 and Spidey, combined.

Just checked — it’s raining and high of 64 degrees in Scottsdale. Perhaps I did the right thing by leaving after all.

Alright, discuss the tournament, the over/under on Calc’s weight, the most ridiculous thing you’ve ever seen on the course, or something like that.

Professional golfers Natalie Gulbis, Rocco Mediate and Duffy Waldorf will play themselves on this Thursday’s episode of “CSI: Crime Scene Investigation.” CBS’s favorite funnymen David Feherty and Gary McCord will also make cameos.

The episode, titled “Long Ball,” revolves around a “legendary” golfer who is murdered at a “high-profile tournament.”

Gulbis blogged about her experience and posted the above photo of herself on the set with — I’m assuming — other cast members at LPGA.com:

I am a huge fan of CSI and have been watching the show for many years. I was thrilled when recently asked to make a guest appearance! I especially enjoyed having the opportunity to experience the process of how an episode of a show comes together. I was able to watch firsthand beginning with the first time I read the script, to then being on site of the episode watching the crew film. It was an incredibly unique experience. I can’t wait to see how it comes together when the show is edited and airs. I feel that the fact that CSI asked professional golfers to make guest appearances is a testament to how much the sport is growing in popularity in the US.

Now I’m not sure if I entirely agree with that last statement and I believe Jim Frank would challenge it. Apparently while TV viewership and corporate sponsorships have increased in the past decade, participation in the sport hasn’t.

But considering the LPGA schedule features only 24 events, down from 27 last year and 34 in ‘08, any publicity is a positive. Gulbis is a great representative given her tremendous popularity among male fans for her cheery personality and swimsuit calendar. But will this generate a larger LPGA following? A small percentage might be enticed to ogle at the ladies playing good golf, but not enough to move the bar — every little bit helps, though.

As for Mediate and Waldorf, it appears the script was written to cast middle-aged, doughy golfers — you know, the stereotype of professional golfers — to reinforce that outdated image. Too bad it didn’t call for younger, more entertaining guys, such as Anthony Kim, Camilo Villegas, Adam Scott, Sergio Garcia or even Sean O’Hair, who I suppose wouldn’t have been relatable to the show’s target demographic.

Oh well, I’ll still watch. /Setting DVR for CSI, 9PM on Thursday.

[Photo via LPGA.com]

In an interview with CNBC’s Darren Rovell on Thursday morning, PGA Tour Commissioner Tim Finchem spoke publicly for the first time since the Tiger Woods scandal broke out. As he answered questions regarding the impact of Tiger’s sabbatical, he presented a cheery and optimistic portrait for the Tour’s future — because, you know, the Tour had a record-breaking year in 2008 when Tiger was out for 2/3 of the season and they have guys like Anthony Kim and Camilo Villegas. In a bout of valiance, Finchem attempted to convince us that, despite what we may believe, TIGER IS NOT BIGGER THAN GOLF.

And, of course, he implied the media has exaggerated the potential strife the Tour may endure without Tiger in the picture. So, back to the real issues — look at the numbers! Business has been flourishing! Our exciting new sponsorship deals! The phenomenal job we’ve done with our charitable contributions!

Apparently the PGA Tour is recession-proof and Tiger-recession-proof. He’s either delusional or just thinks we’re stupid.

Here’s the video of the interview:

Afterward he joined writers on a conference call to continue his patronizing, everything-is-okay campaign and answer questions. Here are some highlights:

Q. I guess would you be concerned that this is a doctor linked to HGH?
COMMISSIONER FINCHEM: Well, there’s a lot of doctors linked to HGH. There’s no reason for me to be concerned because I have no information to trigger a concern. I only have what you just said, and that doesn’t trigger a concern in my mind. And the reason for that is we spent a year reaching out to players, working with them on understanding the details of our anti-doping policy, the reason for our anti-doping policy, the elements of that policy, and we got back virtually 100 percent support for those policies, including Tiger. So they’ve taken it very seriously. We’ve had a vigorous testing program. I have no reason to have a concern with respect to him and a doctor that’s used HGH with whatever patients for whom it’s not an illegal drug. I have no reason to have any concern, no.

He failed to mention the numerous loopholes. Here’s one of the biggest: The PGA Tour can use its discretion whether or not to punish a player for producing a positive drug test.

Q. That Saturday Night Live skit, did that amuse you at all, or did that annoy you?
FINCHEM: I’ve always been a Saturday Night fan, and it’s kind of flattering, although I didn’t think the guy did me very well. He got the tie right, but the thing that I told our folks here I wanted to do is have this press conference on video and then have all of our — have a blank wall behind me, and as I’m talking, people are coming in and putting up the logos of our sponsors until the wall is falling down from so many logos because we have about 90 sponsors, but they didn’t think that would go over that well. However, they did present me with an honorary flask, and I’m enjoying that.

He has a sense of humor, too. Strangely enough, I thought the CNBC interview resembled an SNL skit (can’t wait for this week’s edition!).

Q. There’s been some suggestions that this has kind of been a peek into a seedy side of the PGA TOUR, that there are parties and things going on that people have never been aware of. How do you respond to that?
FINCHEM: Yeah, I saw somebody showed me some blog that made references to that. You know, I just laughed. You go out to a PGA TOUR event, and I’ve been going to them for 23 years, you’ll find more group activity in the fitness truck than you will anywhere else. The notion that players are out there partying is absurd. It’s just absurd.

“Some blog” — he means the Daily Beast, a reputable and well known website, which has done excellent reporting on the story.

FINCHEM: The competition at this level — people ask me over the years, how do you keep drinking and drugs out of the sport. Actually, we don’t. The sport keeps drinking and drugs out of our sport. You can’t play at this level and have those kinds of issues. These fellows are athletes. If you look at what a couple of inches on a putt means two or three times a year in terms of how you’re going to finish the year and compete, players take it seriously. They’re focused on physical fitness. These are family people. They come to us already 95 percent college educated. We just don’t have any of those issues.

Family people with college degrees don’t drink or do drugs or cheat. Never. They spend their spare time working out — just take a look at the physique of the average Tour player. And, you know, it’s not the worst thing in the world for people to know or think that golfers are having some fun every once in a while.

I have many more thoughts, but I’ll keep it at that right now. More important things await — like the Gawker Holiday Party.

It appears we have our first mid-round tweet (gasp!). Rewind back to the US Open when Ian Poulter snapped a picture of his infamous mud ball. But surprisingly, under Rule 14-3, the USGA said he didn’t break any rules.

Given Parker didn’t gain knowledge to assist his play or distract another player (that we know of), he’s in the clear. He didn’t cause the outrage that Poulter did when he tweeted a photo of Camilo Villegas and Justin Rose flipping off the camera. Or when Stewart Cink complained about his unreliable AT&T service. Then again, Parker McLachlin isn’t Ian Poulter or Stewart Cink.

Oh, by the way — Parker bogeyed the 5th hole.

[Parker McLachlin’s Twitter Feed]

With all the young talent out there, we’re constantly talking about and searching for golf’s next big thing (otherwise known as the next closest thing to Tiger). Forget Anthony Kim, Camilo Villegas and Adam Scott — they’re yesterday’s news. Now, it’s about Rory McIlroy, Ryo Ishikawa and Danny Lee. Add another to that list: Rickie Fowler, the 20-year-old All-American Oklahoma State standout, who only turned pro in September.

So far, this kid is living up to the hype (surprise!). Last week at the Justin Timberlake Shriners Hospitals for Children Open (God, that’s a mouthful), he made his first start on the PGA Tour as a professional. And while we know he’s good, he surpassed many expectations, finishing T7.

But then could he continue his hot streak at this week’s Frys.com Open? Oh, yes. Rickie fired rounds of 65-64 for a two-day total of 11-under, and going into the weekend he’s at the very top of the leaderboard. He only missed two greens in two rounds (both on Friday).

Oh, and, the Golf Channel can’t stop the Rickie-fawning — the commentators are drooling over him. Or, they’re just thinking: Thank God, he’s playing so well. Now we have something to talk about other than Chad Campbell’s niceness and pretending we think the Fall Series is tremendously thrilling.

Then, there’s the question of Q-school. For Rickie to bypass it and secure his card for next year, he needs to finish in the top 125 on the money list. With the $113,700 check from last week, he would either need to win or place second to do that. It’s too bad he had to wait until after September’s Walker Cup to turn pro, otherwise he likely would have cashed more than enough. If he does pull off the near impossible this weekend, he would be the first player since Ryan Moore to dodge Q-school.

Rickie shared his positive and level-headed take:

My expectations were basically just to go out and have two fun weeks and play as well as I could…There’s no reason to tee it up in a tournament if I don’t think I can win. Last week I put together some solid rounds and put myself in contention. This week, feel like I’m in a great spot going into the weekend…Right now [going to Q-school] is still the plan.

Considering Rickie’s fearless, chill attitude, he’s got what it takes to handle the limelight, the pressure and the intensity. That said, he might actually pull off the unthinkable this weekend, and you know, win. Believe it? TBD Sunday.

[Photo by Christian Petersen/Getty Image]

And as far as the question concerning the rematch, never again. (Laughter) I would like to stay as the guy who won over Tiger at the PGA Championship, and that’s about it. No redos. (Laughter) —Y.E. Yang, post-win presser, August 16, ‘09

Unfortunately for Yang, Freddie and the former Mr. Evert had a better idea. And a well known golf blogger and I had the same one — on Thursday we decided it would be the best thing in the world if Yang and Tiger played each other in Sunday’s single matches.

I hope we get to see Yang hit another 3-hybrid like this. (Go for broke!) And when he takes down Tiger, he should totally hoist his bag over his head again — even if a chance for an International team victory is futile.

Thank you, captains.

******

The Americans currently lead the Internationals 12.5 to 9.5. Here’s the complete lineup:

International vs. US (matches begin at approximately noon EST in ten-minute intervals)

Camilo Villegas vs. Hunter Mahan — Grade: C-

Adam Scott vs. Stewart Cink — C+

Mike Weir vs. Justin Leonard — B

Robert Allenby vs. Anthony Kim — B

Geoff Ogilvy vs. Steve Stricker — A-

Ernie Els vs. Sean O’Hair — B+

Ryo Ishikawa vs. Kenny Perry — A+

Tim Clark vs. Zach Johnson — D

Y.E. Yang vs. Tiger Woods (!!!) — A+

Vijay Singh vs. Lucas Glover — F-

Retief Goosen vs. Phil Mickelson — B

Angel Cabrera vs. Jim Furyk — C+

[Photo by David Cannon/Getty Images]

The Presidents Cup matches at Harding Park in San Francisco begin tomorrow. Here are the pairings for Thursday’s foursomes:

International vs. US.

Tim Clark and Mike Weir vs. Anthony Kim and Phil Mickelson

Adam Scott and Ernie Els vs. Hunter Mahan and Sean O’Hair

Vijay Singh and Robert Allenby vs. Lucas Glover and Stewart Cink

Angel Cabrera and Camilo Villegas vs. Kenny Perry and Zach Johnson

Geoff Ogilvy and Ryo Ishikawa vs. Tiger Woods and Steve Stricker

Retief Goosen and Y.E. Yang vs. Jim Furyk and Justin Leonard

My favorite is Ogilvy/Ishikawa vs. Woods/Stricker — the Americans have the advantage with the world’s number one and two playing together. Plus, they’re BFFs! It will definitely be interesting to see how the 18-year-old Ishikawa, who just won his fourth tournament on the Japanese Tour, perform. With the format being alternate shot, Tiger’s and Stricker’s games balance each other. And lucky for Strick, the rough isn’t too thick. So, if Tiger is hitting errant drives, it won’t be a huge travesty. Ogilvy and Ryo better bring their A-game to stand a chance.

I also love Cabrera/Villegas vs. Perry/Johnson. Given that Angel doesn’t speak English, it’s probably smart Norman paired him with Camilo because, you know, communicating with your teammate is important.

And then there’s Scott/Els vs. Mahan/O’Hair. Everyone will be watching how Adam Scott plays. At least he’s paired with Ernie, who has been playing pretty well lately. Good news is that none of the four are good putters. Oh, apparently Ernie requested to play with Scott:

Yeah, I think Scotty wanted to play with me. I really enjoy Scotty. I think he’s one of the great talents of the game. He’s had a very tough year. So mentally, I want to help him, and you know, if he can get over the little stumbling block that he’s had it will be great for his career.

What a generous, helpful friend! No, seriously. Let’s hope Scott can regain his confidence this week.

Now that I’ve shared my super-insightful thoughts, it’s your turn. By the way, Mike Walker will be live-blogging the matches over at Press Tent tomorrow — stop by for his Beavis & Butthead commentary on the action.

[Photo by Scott Halleran/Getty Images]

Last week Golf Digest’s Marty Hackel, otherwise known as “Mr. Style,” was kind enough to chat with me about golf fashion, the PGA and LPGA Tours’ best dressed — and the players that need help the most.

The preppy and traditional look is coming back in a big way generally speaking in fashion. How can you incorporate those looks into your golf wardrobe without looking costumed or like a tool?

I think we sometimes get too fixated on what you’re wearing and need to focus on how you’re wearing it. You can take tan bermuda shorts and a white button-up and wear it with a degree of a dressiness; if you want to be preppy, you probably have a grosgrain ribbon belt or the khakis are leathered out and there’s no “tech” in them. I think tech is great in certain things. For example, I think outerwear tech is terrific, like Gore-Tex. It’s fabulous and when it’s used properly, it makes great rain gear. We’ve gotten way too techy. It’s created a buzz and people saw: “It doesn’t look like I sweat and that’s a good thing, I’m going to buy more. Polyester is lightweight material, I don’t even feel like I have it on.” Tech is great in footwear and hosiery. Tech can be good in wearing apparel when used properly. It’s synthetic product — generally speaking. We make a huge mistake. We get too focused on sportswear. It doesn’t have to be golf-specific. Why can’t you wear a woven golf shirt on the course?

John Paul Newport wrote a column earlier this year about the return of the “Full Cleveland” — white shoes and white belts — and it appeared to be a big trend this year. What do you think about that look?

White belts came back more, particularly in the first part of the year. And this Full Cleveland thing, come on, please, what are you talking about…there are a couple of players on the Tour. We misread this a little bit. I think white belts are great on thin guys that are tall. They’re not great on guys with a 38-inch waist. Don’t wear white unless you have holster attached to that belt and badge attached to your shirt, then wear your white belt. Period.

Phil gets a lot of grief about his wardrobe. And recently he wore white pants the week he won the Tour Championship. What’s your general feel on him these days?

His shirts have gotten a little snug. It’s way better than a few years ago when his shirts were oversized. Clothes don’t make you look thinner — diets do. Americans think oversized shirts make you look thinner, but they don’t. Next few people you hear criticize Phil, ask them to look in the mirror. Because it’s mostly oversized guys. He’s not batting a thousand, but who is on the PGA?

FanHouse named Ryo Ishikawa “Best-Dressed in ‘09.” How would you describe Ryo’s look?

He’s costumed, very programmed. There’s not a lot of creativity there. I would like to see what he wears when he loses his luggage. But I think he looks great on Tour.

And how about Fred Couples? I love his classic style.

He looks silly. He’s done more to confuse people about good fit in the past 20 years. I love Freddie. As a human being, he’s a lovable guy. Every woman thinks he’s handsome. I just think his shirts are too big. He’s always pulling up his sleeves before he hits the ball. I think a lot of women say you should look like Freddie Couples, but it’s not because of the clothes.

Who are the best dressers and why?

I’m a big Watson fan. Elkington has the best taste on Tour. Kuchar looks great all the time. He’s terrific. He puts it together well, he’s in good shape, he wears things that are appropriate, he has a good idea of style and he carries himself well. Almost all the time Tiger looks great in everything but his trousers. He’s my textbook example of someone who carries it well. He’s put good fit more on the map than anyone. Charles Howell looks good and can look even better. Just trim up his shirts a little more, so he’s not wearing quite as much of oversized shirts. It would be fine tuning with a guy like Howell, not an overhaul. It would be dotting the I’s and crossing the T’s. You don’t have to be young to look great. Jason Gore always looks great to me. That’s a big guy who looks great! You don’t have to be 140 pounds to look great. The way he carries himself, he has a good taste, he knows a good pair of trousers when he sees it.

I think Stewart Cink looks great — he wears bright colors, he wears clothes that fit, he has some fun, he certainly dresses within himself. I mean, he looks terrific!

I’ll give you another example of a player who wears nice clothes, but carries them to the greatest amount of confidence and looks terrific in them — Rich Beem in Oakley. He has a lot of fun with it. But you know, I like Alex Cejka because he’s in shape and wears clothes that fit. So does Will MacKenzie. So does Camilo. Has Camilo ever looked bad? I don’t think so.

Most of the Spanish guys look fabulous. Alvaros Quiros! He looks like a million bucks. You wanna know why? He’s got great personality! There’s something terrific about him. Soren Hansen looks great to me all the time, love him. Most of the guys that I think look great are European. Because they understand fit much better.

Who needs the most help?

Justin Rose needs help. Everything is one slice off. He doesn’t wear the right combination. He doesn’t wear the stuff that fits him properly. The clothes are fine, it’s the way you wear them. And I think that’s a huge challenge. Huge challenge. Everyone says Woody Austin is a bad dresser. It’s not that he’s a bad dresser, it’s that he doesn’t wear the right stuff and size for him. He’s a terrific golfer and he’s not in terribly bad shape, but he certainly looks that way, doesn’t he? I’ll give you an example of someone who has huge potential to look great. Bill Haas. He’s dressing like his father! He should be dressing like himself. He wears those old man trousers. Everything is oversized!

Biggest fashion faux pas?

What’s not wearing appropriate for your body type. That’s a mistake most people make.

Marty to me: Who’s on your top 5 list?
Me: On mine…Off the top of my head?
Him: No, I want it off the bottom of your head. Yes, of course off the top of your head.
Me: I know Poulter is a little outlandish but I think he always looks great. I mean, how many people can pull off the British flag get-up he wore at the British Open?
Him: Ian Poulter looks great! Once again, classic example of not what you wear, but how you wear. I’m with you on that.
Me: I like Aaron Baddeley’s style, too.
Him: He does! I don’t know what people say Aaron dresses Badd-e-ley. But I think they just like the play on words.

Who would you like to go on a shopping trip with?

Rory Sabbatini would be on my shopping team — if I had to go shopping with 5 guys on Tour, he would be on that list. Elkington would be and so would Darren Clarke. Those three guys right away because they would be great to go shopping because they know what they’re doing. Sometimes I don’t like everything that Rory Sabbatini wears, but I’ll defend him all day long because he doesn’t dress like an Ottoman, he doesn’t dress like he’s been manufactured to look one way, he dresses to his own drummer.

What do you think about the logos? Do you think they are cheapening up the game?

Here we go again with everyone trying to get me to compare golf to NASCAR Racing. And yeah, I think you can overdo it, but these guys are just trying to make a buck. I mean, I think we’re about maxed out right now. I don’t want to see it getting any bigger and I don’t want to see any more logos. I think it’s getting a little confusing. But they’re independent contractors and they’re trying to make money.

How do you feel about the women’s side of things?

There’s where I have a huge problem with too much logo. I don’t like when the LPGA wears a lot of logos. It’s probably because I’m chauvinistic and I like women to look like women. I don’t think women should dress on the golf course like they’re men. I’d like to see them have a little more fun. I think they should dress like they’re stylish women and there are plenty of great golf lines out there — Polo, PAHR Golf Birdie, Adidas — Suzann Pettersen always looks like a million bucks and she wears Nike.

What about girls like Christina Kim? I think she always looks put together and fashionable.

That’s her personality, she sells whatever she wears. She’s a great example of it’s not what you wear but how you wear it. She has fun with it and she smiles and she has a great time. That’s really important. And you don’t have to be a world-class LPGA player — Charlotte Mayorkas, Anna Rawson — these aren’t household names but these gals look like a million bucks all the time.

Well, Anna Rawson can probably wear anything and look great.

Oh that’s true. Or nothing. Either way.

And how about Natalie Gulbis?

Well she’s very consistent. She dresses very athletically, she’s going to wear super-short skorts, she’s not afraid to wear some color and pretty aware of what she’s wearing all the time. It’s not exactly what I like, but at least she’s marching to her own drummer.

How do you feel about Paula Creamer’s pink fetish?

She doesn’t have to wear all pink, we get it’s her color and she likes it. When she wears all pink, she looks like a drum majorette. All she needs is a baton.

What brand that isn’t designing golf clothes would you like to see doing so?

Easy question. Giorgio Armani. Jil Sander. Wouldn’t that be great? I would like to see Prada in golf. You can wear Prada and play golf. You don’t have to call it “golf.” You just call it “great stuff.”

Would you ever design a line?

No, I have much more fun critiquing everyone else. Way much more fun. And I have a lot of opinions as you’ve probably gathered. But I think that’s what makes it fun. We need to have a little more fun, especially in this day and age when we’re stressed all day long with the economy and everything else going on. And golf should be one of those things.

To sum it up, what’s your best advice for the average golfer to look good.

Buy what’s appropriate for your body. Buy what’s not going to make you feel self-conscious. Buy what puts a smile on your face. And rather than buy three things, buy one thing that’s really good. Pick your spot. Make a commitment, decide what you want and go for it.

What are your favorite blogs?

The Sartorialist, Geoff Shackelford, style.com, Golf Digest and Gawker.

Marty Hackel is the Fashion Editor at Golf Digest. For more, go to GolfDigest.com.