Welcome to Balls in the Air, where I size up my Fantasy Golf picks of the week, featuring guys to watch (or not) and interesting story lines. Disclaimer: Don’t yell at me if my picks suck.

I swear I’m going to get better at posting this on a weekly (and more timely) basis, but mostly it’s because I haven’t come up with lyrics for a “Balls in the Air” theme song. Submissions are welcome.

Group A

Anthony Kim: Aside from the third round 76 at the Phoenix Open, Mr. Shiny Belt Buckle had a great tournament. No word whether he was hitting it hard at the Bird’s Nest on Friday night. Oh, and this is good — he’s paired with Robert Allenby the first two rounds. Fight, fight, fight!

Group A Bencher

Ernie Els: The options were slim, so it was either the Big Easy or someone like Steve Marino. Ernie is off to a quick start with two top-10 finishes at the Farmers Insurance Open and Northern Trust Open. Even though his three-year campaign to challenge Tiger Woods as the world’s number one has expired, maybe it comes with a one-year extension plan.

Group B

Rory McIlroy: Gotta love this kid. More important, he wouldn’t have laid up from 231 yards on a par 5 when he was in contention. At least I hope not.

Camilo Villegas: The flashy Colombian has been playing very well. In two starts, he finished third at the Match Play Championship and T8 at last week’s Phoenix Open, including a 9-under 62 in the first round. After complaining last year about the oh-so-grueling year-long golf schedule, he talked about his overall improvement in attitude and appreciation for the opportunity to play. They grow up so quickly!

Group B Benchers

Y.E. Yang: The defending champ is always a safe pick. He also played well last week despite a mental error, where he dunked it in the water, on the 17th hole last Sunday. But last night on Twitter, he mentioned having back pain. Not a good sign and something went wrong today — he shot (gulp) 79.

J.B. Holmes: I have a soft spot for the slow-moving long hitter after speaking with him last week at the Phoenix Open. Really nice guy. He’s also started the year hot with a runner-up finish at the A&T Pebble Beach Pro-Am and third at the Northern Trust Open.

Group C

Paul Casey: In two starts, he finished runner-up at the Match Play Championship after losing to Ian Poulter in the finals, and T10 at the SBS Championship. Another safe pick. (Honestly, I’m ashamed how boring I’m getting.)

Group C Bencher

Rickie Fowler: I’m still kinda appalled with his gutless play coming down the stretch. John Hawkins summed it up very well, “Hey dude, did it ever cross your mind that you could make an eagle? You’re Rickie Freakin’ Fowler, the New Kid in Town, the second coming of Lanny…You believe, Rickie, because that’s what champions do. Better safe than sorry? Sometimes, they mean the same thing.” Lucky for him he’ll have another chance sooner than later — can’t discredit him for being able to play. As he heads into the Florida swing, it’ll be interesting to see how he does when not on familiar territory.

Alright, leaderboard check! The soft-spoken Australian, Nathan Green, leads with an early 5-under. Some guys called Alexandre Rocha and Michael Connell are tied for second along with Oliver Wilson and Villegas. Watching the telecast, looks like tough conditions with the wind blowing hard.

Someone else to keep an eye on is rookie Alex Prugh. He’s placed in the top-ten three times and made five cuts in five starts. After a few off-weeks, he’s in the clubhouse with a 68 and T10.

I realize I sound like a broken record this week with some of my picks — you know, so-and-so is playing well, which was annoying because it seemed like I have nothing more interesting to say. But if you’ve discovered a formula that doesn’t involve looking at the players’ current season results and their past performance at that tournament or simply going with your gut, then please share. Maybe next week I’ll get a little crazy and point my finger at the screen with my eyes closed and see which name it lands on.

At least Villegas is making me look smart.

I’m regretting my decision to take the redeye back to NYC. Too late, dummy! I only wish I could have seen more players and golf, less media room and especially hotel room. Some quick thoughts before I nap — now I know the Phoenix “Wasted” Open is notorious for being the tournament stop where all sorts of characters who could care less about this sport called golf other than an excuse to gather and drink (lots of) beers on a grassy pasture. Yeah, that’s pretty much it, but I gotta give the crowds credit, it’s pretty awesome. I was like a really, really sober person at a frat party, but that almost made it more interesting. I also have to credit how organized the tournament seemed despite the crowds, drunks, shenanigans, etc.

On Saturday, it was guesstimated a scarce 121,221, down from 160-something-thousand last year. But even if this number was made up from thin air (because, surely their counters are error-proof), that’s impressive for a tailgate golf event.

Here’s an interesting analytics aside: The search “Rickie Fowler girlfriend” returned the most hits to my blog yesterday. As a matter of fact, it’s the most-searched term of the month! I guess Rickie’s relationship status is very topical for at least 640 doting fans (wonder how this breaks down by a/s/l).

Anthony Kim who was T3 going into Saturday fired a 76. Hope he wasn’t out drinking until 4AM. Kidding! AK? No way.

We’ve got a great leaderboard filled with young names for the final round. Let’s see, Brandt Snedeker leads by one stroke over Scott Piercy. Rickie Fowler is T3, two shots back. If he wins, he would become the youngest player to win on Tour since Tiger in ‘96. (Hype, hype, hype!) His outfit sure was…err…blue. But to his credit, he was forced to wear it (he had a “script” this week /shiver). Camilo Villegas sits at T5. In related news, Mark Calcavecchia, who is T6, weighs more than his playing partners, 2.0 and Spidey, combined.

Just checked — it’s raining and high of 64 degrees in Scottsdale. Perhaps I did the right thing by leaving after all.

Alright, discuss the tournament, the over/under on Calc’s weight, the most ridiculous thing you’ve ever seen on the course, or something like that.

Standing on the tee at the infamous 16th hole, you really feel like you’re at a stadium, and it is nothing like I’d ever experienced.

All things considered, Wednesday was a pretty productive day at the course. I walked four holes with Ryan Moore, who was playing with comedian George Lopez, actor Andy Garcia, former baseball superstar Mark Grace and some powerful business dude (according to Google, CEO of Viacom Outdoor) Wally Kelly.

The plan from the start was to find Ryan and I saw on the pairing sheet who he was paired with, but it took a while to register. I had begun walking out, but then I kept going back and forth between finding the few friends he has on Tour. An hour later, suddenly it dawned on me. You moron! Did you not see who Ryan was playing with? /punching-self-in-face

I caught him on the 15th hole — just in time for the 16th. Phew. Right away, Lopez caught my attention as he was serenading fans and signing autographs. I’m told on the first tee that he gave a few speeches, including one that mocked Tiger’s apology. He never used any names, but he made it pretty clear. Boy, wish I would have caught that. Seriously, I don’t know how Lopez is so obliging to fans. He stands on every hole and signs autographs, jokes with the fans — he’s an entertainer, but hell, I’d be exhausted after two holes. After he hit the green on the 16th, he instructed his caddy, Mike, to break out the Mexican wrestling masks (see pic above — he’s obsessed with Mexican WWE and had those made). Lopez did his par-save dance, then he tackled Mike on the green.

Lots of funny tidbits in just four holes, but I can’t share them all — because, well, I don’t have time. Here now, Lopez is pitching a golf ball to Mark who belted it to short of left-center green.

Gracie sure has a ton of fans in Arizona for obvious reasons (he was the first baseman when the Diamondbacks won the World Series in ‘01 and is now a broadcaster for the team). On the 18th, a lady fan was following him down the side of the fairway, yelling, “Mark, Mark!” Finally in a bout of desperation, she screeched, “Don’t make me stalk you, Mark! Because I will.” Long story short: She got his autograph.

Now, I’ll say, the most annoying question to ask players is about what their opinion on other players, especially if they don’t know them very well. It’s one thing if they’re BFF, but it’s totally different when they aren’t and you want them to say something, you know, interesting and quotable. J.B. seems like one of the nicest guys out there. I could tell he did his best to say something thoughtful and give me what I needed. I will never make fun of him taking eight minutes to hit a shot. Okay, I can’t promise that, but he’s a good dude. As for Charley, he doesn’t sound like what you’d imagine — which, to me, was a surfer dude (I don’t know, something about the long, wavy blond hair).

Meanwhile, the five other dudes I stopped in the practice area weren’t as helpful. They tried, I guess.

During my stalking session, I saw Anthony Kim hitting range balls and chipping with one arm as he talked on the phone for the past half hour. New practice drill! It sounded like he was arguing with someone, like a girlfriend, but I might be making that up in my head.

Now for the favorite part of my day. I hate to report I have to refrain from calling Phil Mickelson any names for at least the next two days. During his press conference, I asked him about Moore. I prefaced it with something like, “Sorry, I know this is really annoying, but…” I really do have to credit how good he is with the media. I knew he’d give me some sort of usable answer, even if he was BS-ing. Thanks, Phil! (See, Shane, now I’ve written something nice about him.)

Oh, I also have a new nickname. Mr. Geoff Shackelford came up with this one. It feels like, he’s, oh I don’t know, maybe hazing me? (Surprise!) Apparently, my question was a “rally killer” — something he warned me to steer clear from before the presser. Whoops!

Sorry, guys, rookie mistake.

First things first: Apologies for the small font in the images of the brackets below, but I run a resource-starved operation. That said, I welcome donations.

As you may have heard, the Accenture Match Play starts today and neither the world’s number one, Tiger Woods, nor number three, Phil Mickelson, is in the field. Naturally, Tiger is hunkered down in some hiding hole, otherwise known as the gated community of Isleworth, and Phil, the quintessential family man, is taking a family vacation. This event stirred up huge hype last year, as Tiger staged his comeback after an eight-month break to recover from knee surgery.

It’s a little different this year, but hey, we got Steve Stricker, Lee Westwood, Jim Furyk and Martin Kaymer to take the top four seeds. Personally, I’m pumped because I love matchplay. I wish more PGA Tour events were played in this format, like the silly the FedEx Cup — or at least the final event. It’s exciting to watch two players battle it out in a one-on-one duel. Well, unless you get, like, Chad Campbell and Ben Crane in the finals. Snore. So, let’s hope that anomaly doesn’t happen this week.

Without further ado, presenting my random bracket picks, where I basically went down the list and went, eeny-meeny-miny-moe. But as you can see, I didn’t go too crazy. I guess I was feeling boring.

JONES BRACKET

I love this bracket. Too many great players. As I learned with my Fantasy Golf picks for the Northern Trust Open, Steve Stricker is always a safe bet. And I’d just really like to see him cry again. I’m sure David Feherty could rouse more tears from Stricks than Roger Maltbie could. But I’d love to see the young dudes, Anthony Kim and Ryo Ishikawa, go far. With the way both have played this season, I’m not sure. Then again, like the annoying cliche goes, anything can happen.

PLAYER BRACKET

Geoff Ogilvy is defending and he’s already repeated once this year with his win at the season-opener, the SBS Championship. He also has a mind-blowing 89.4% winning percentage. But he might be a little distracted and sleep-deprived, since his wife just gave birth to their third child last week. Putting aside my personal bias, I’d keep an eye out on Ryan Moore. He doesn’t hold one of the most decorated amateur careers for no reason. His last summer before turning pro, he won the US Amatuer, the Western Amateur and US Amateur Public Links — all in matchplay. He’s done crazy things, like win the last four holes, carding birdies on three, to win the US Amateur two-up. Expect him to feel comfortable in this atmosphere.

HOGAN BRACKET

It’d be great to see The Irish Kid Who Will Save The PGA Tour, you know, win or something, but apparently he’s been having some back problems. Perhaps worrisome, but he’s only 20. Last year he made a splash by making it to the quarterfinals, where he was ousted by eventual champ Ogilvy. If Allenby and McIlroy meet like I predicted, let’s hope Allenby doesn’t blame it on something silly, like how he should have gone out partying with him until 4AM. I’d like to see the 25-year-old Martin Kaymer, who won his fifth European Tour event in Abu Dhabi recently, matched up with McIlroy in the quarterfinals. Because, well, the entertainment value. Duh.

SNEAD BRACKET

Other than the Molinaris, who are the first brothers to play the event in the same year, and the preposterously long-hitting Alvaros Quiros, this bracket is pretty vanilla. But you got your usual suspects. Now I can’t remember why I chose Furyk. The word “safe” comes to mind, which doesn’t make that much sense now because in recent years he’s faltered when he reached the Sweet 16.

So in the Final Four, I have Stricker, McIlroy, Moore and Furyk. As always, my sincere regrets if they’re hit with the awful Wei jinx. Who are your favorites for the week? You know what to do — drop them below. Please.

On Monday Anthony Kim appeared on The Jay Leno Show to play putt-putt golf with Jessica Alba, who is a “natural” at golf, so she says.

When Leno revealed that AK would be her opponent in a putting contest, Alba was overwhelmed with excitement. “My husband is going to be so jealous,” she screeched.

Decked in Nike golf gear, AK first gave her some tips, emphasizing, “All you want to do is stroke it.”

/audience and Alba burst out laughing like it’s the funniest thing in the world.

/me rolling my eyes

I don’t find Leno funny, nor am I a fan (Team CoCo 4eva!), but it’s worth checking out to see the “little putting green they put together.” Plus, AK did a good job — it’s not his fault the segment was lame.

Fast forward to about the 4:15 mark.

[h/t Mr. Bacon]

Professional golfers Natalie Gulbis, Rocco Mediate and Duffy Waldorf will play themselves on this Thursday’s episode of “CSI: Crime Scene Investigation.” CBS’s favorite funnymen David Feherty and Gary McCord will also make cameos.

The episode, titled “Long Ball,” revolves around a “legendary” golfer who is murdered at a “high-profile tournament.”

Gulbis blogged about her experience and posted the above photo of herself on the set with — I’m assuming — other cast members at LPGA.com:

I am a huge fan of CSI and have been watching the show for many years. I was thrilled when recently asked to make a guest appearance! I especially enjoyed having the opportunity to experience the process of how an episode of a show comes together. I was able to watch firsthand beginning with the first time I read the script, to then being on site of the episode watching the crew film. It was an incredibly unique experience. I can’t wait to see how it comes together when the show is edited and airs. I feel that the fact that CSI asked professional golfers to make guest appearances is a testament to how much the sport is growing in popularity in the US.

Now I’m not sure if I entirely agree with that last statement and I believe Jim Frank would challenge it. Apparently while TV viewership and corporate sponsorships have increased in the past decade, participation in the sport hasn’t.

But considering the LPGA schedule features only 24 events, down from 27 last year and 34 in ‘08, any publicity is a positive. Gulbis is a great representative given her tremendous popularity among male fans for her cheery personality and swimsuit calendar. But will this generate a larger LPGA following? A small percentage might be enticed to ogle at the ladies playing good golf, but not enough to move the bar — every little bit helps, though.

As for Mediate and Waldorf, it appears the script was written to cast middle-aged, doughy golfers — you know, the stereotype of professional golfers — to reinforce that outdated image. Too bad it didn’t call for younger, more entertaining guys, such as Anthony Kim, Camilo Villegas, Adam Scott, Sergio Garcia or even Sean O’Hair, who I suppose wouldn’t have been relatable to the show’s target demographic.

Oh well, I’ll still watch. /Setting DVR for CSI, 9PM on Thursday.

[Photo via LPGA.com]

After announcing on Monday the lockdown of a title sponsor for next week’s tournament, which will now be called the Farmers Insurance Open, the PGA Tour started Tuesday with more good news — the addition of a Fall Series event, the RSM McGladery Open hosted by Davis Love III.

In Tuesday’s teleconference, Commissioner Tim Finchem kicked off the call with cheery, upbeat adjectives about the announcement, like “delighted,” “excited” and “quality.” Because we know how fired up everyone gets about golf in October (notwithstanding the Ryder Cup).

But given the dreary economy these days, it appears the Tour is recovering rather nicely:

We are done. We have a full schedule. The upshot of that schedule is that the total playing opportunities for our players are consistent with the last couple years. Our prize money this year will be up slightly over 2009, and based on these announcements and also the final performance we’re seeing in our first-quarter events, we see our charity numbers now rebounding back into that $116 [million], $118 [million] area for 2010.

To my understanding, the moderator politely requested reporters to ask McGladery-related questions only. Translation: Do not cross-examine Finchem about Tiger and/or his whereabouts.

One clever individual found a legitimate loophole:

Q. Tim, there have been a lot of kind of doom-and-gloom articles, media coverage, about with Tiger away, TV ratings are going to take a big hit, and that that’s — I was just wondering if you might be able to explain why that’s kind of a short-sighted view.

And the long-winded response:

COMMISSIONER TIM FINCHEM: Well, I’ve answered this question before, but I think that there’s a misperception about our business model for one thing. People think because Tiger spikes ratings, which he does, and spikes interest, which he certainly does, that if he’s not playing, it just doesn’t work. And I’ve actually been answering the same question not since November but really for the last 13 years, because we’ve averaged about 47 tournaments a year on the PGA TOUR. In those years Tiger has averaged playing about 17. That leaves 30 events. And those events have grown in the last 13 years exponentially. They’ve actually grown at a higher percentage basis than the events that Tiger basically plays in.

[…Blah, blah, blah, yada, yada, yada…]

TV ratings dropped 50% from ‘08 in ‘07 in the tournaments Tiger missed while recovering from knee surgery.

But week in and week out, the PGA TOUR provides value, and as C.E. [Andrews, McGladery’s CEO,] indicated earlier, in this case we’ve got a great venue, a great group of players involved already, a great golf course, a great time of year to play. If you’re smart, you can put together a tournament that really generates value for all the stakeholders. And that’s been our experience.

Uhh…again, golf in October. And I love Davis Love, and Zach Johnson seems like a good guy, but compared to watching Tiger or Phil? Yeah, b-o-r-i-n-g.

We just had Tiger out for eight months in ‘08, and we had our all-time record charity year at $125 million. Everybody just needs to keep it in balance. We want our No. 1 player back. I think he’s going to be huge when he comes back. But he’s doing the right thing right now in dealing with his issues as he said he wanted to.

So, does that mean you know how he’s dealing with them? Wait, what happened to those TV ratings again? And also that was before the economy really went kapooey.

But hey, I get it — it’s the Commissioner’s job to play down the likely financial effects. With such conviction, too! The Tour might encounter more trouble in the long term if he really believes the status quo will indefinitely suffice, though. Especially since marquee players competing overseas for appearance fees in lieu of Tour events appears to be a growing trend. Anthony Kim opens his 2010 season at the Abu Dhabi Championship this week instead of the Bob Hope Classic.

Perhaps Finchem is banking on Rory McIlroy and Rickie Fowler to reach their potential right away. Or AK will hate the Middle East and defer a million bucks going forward. Or Tiger and Phil will start playing 25 tournaments a year. Or Tiger will return by the spring. All possible scenarios. Still, there’s enough doubt to cast more concern than Finchem wants — or is willing — to openly disclose.

In an interview with CNBC’s Darren Rovell on Thursday morning, PGA Tour Commissioner Tim Finchem spoke publicly for the first time since the Tiger Woods scandal broke out. As he answered questions regarding the impact of Tiger’s sabbatical, he presented a cheery and optimistic portrait for the Tour’s future — because, you know, the Tour had a record-breaking year in 2008 when Tiger was out for 2/3 of the season and they have guys like Anthony Kim and Camilo Villegas. In a bout of valiance, Finchem attempted to convince us that, despite what we may believe, TIGER IS NOT BIGGER THAN GOLF.

And, of course, he implied the media has exaggerated the potential strife the Tour may endure without Tiger in the picture. So, back to the real issues — look at the numbers! Business has been flourishing! Our exciting new sponsorship deals! The phenomenal job we’ve done with our charitable contributions!

Apparently the PGA Tour is recession-proof and Tiger-recession-proof. He’s either delusional or just thinks we’re stupid.

Here’s the video of the interview:

Afterward he joined writers on a conference call to continue his patronizing, everything-is-okay campaign and answer questions. Here are some highlights:

Q. I guess would you be concerned that this is a doctor linked to HGH?
COMMISSIONER FINCHEM: Well, there’s a lot of doctors linked to HGH. There’s no reason for me to be concerned because I have no information to trigger a concern. I only have what you just said, and that doesn’t trigger a concern in my mind. And the reason for that is we spent a year reaching out to players, working with them on understanding the details of our anti-doping policy, the reason for our anti-doping policy, the elements of that policy, and we got back virtually 100 percent support for those policies, including Tiger. So they’ve taken it very seriously. We’ve had a vigorous testing program. I have no reason to have a concern with respect to him and a doctor that’s used HGH with whatever patients for whom it’s not an illegal drug. I have no reason to have any concern, no.

He failed to mention the numerous loopholes. Here’s one of the biggest: The PGA Tour can use its discretion whether or not to punish a player for producing a positive drug test.

Q. That Saturday Night Live skit, did that amuse you at all, or did that annoy you?
FINCHEM: I’ve always been a Saturday Night fan, and it’s kind of flattering, although I didn’t think the guy did me very well. He got the tie right, but the thing that I told our folks here I wanted to do is have this press conference on video and then have all of our — have a blank wall behind me, and as I’m talking, people are coming in and putting up the logos of our sponsors until the wall is falling down from so many logos because we have about 90 sponsors, but they didn’t think that would go over that well. However, they did present me with an honorary flask, and I’m enjoying that.

He has a sense of humor, too. Strangely enough, I thought the CNBC interview resembled an SNL skit (can’t wait for this week’s edition!).

Q. There’s been some suggestions that this has kind of been a peek into a seedy side of the PGA TOUR, that there are parties and things going on that people have never been aware of. How do you respond to that?
FINCHEM: Yeah, I saw somebody showed me some blog that made references to that. You know, I just laughed. You go out to a PGA TOUR event, and I’ve been going to them for 23 years, you’ll find more group activity in the fitness truck than you will anywhere else. The notion that players are out there partying is absurd. It’s just absurd.

“Some blog” — he means the Daily Beast, a reputable and well known website, which has done excellent reporting on the story.

FINCHEM: The competition at this level — people ask me over the years, how do you keep drinking and drugs out of the sport. Actually, we don’t. The sport keeps drinking and drugs out of our sport. You can’t play at this level and have those kinds of issues. These fellows are athletes. If you look at what a couple of inches on a putt means two or three times a year in terms of how you’re going to finish the year and compete, players take it seriously. They’re focused on physical fitness. These are family people. They come to us already 95 percent college educated. We just don’t have any of those issues.

Family people with college degrees don’t drink or do drugs or cheat. Never. They spend their spare time working out — just take a look at the physique of the average Tour player. And, you know, it’s not the worst thing in the world for people to know or think that golfers are having some fun every once in a while.

I have many more thoughts, but I’ll keep it at that right now. More important things await — like the Gawker Holiday Party.

And this time he did it with a good night’s rest as far as we know. Either way, Anthony Kim made a statement, crushing Robert Allenby 5&4 in the semifinals of the Volvo World Match Play Championship.

Prior to the awkward face-off, AK was asked to share his thoughts:

You know, that’s not something really I want to get into, but I have talked to Robert. What’s done is done and it’s in the past now.

Right — the guy called him a “loose cannon” and “the current John Daly,” which placed AK in a not-so-positive spotlight.

He also added they had “moved on.” Apparently some of AK’s actions proved the opposite:

Kim was questioned about asking Allenby to hole some short putts but said: “I don’t really think I have. Maybe a 2-footer, but it had a little break to it. Let’s just say I am pretty focused on my game and if that slides by me that’s a mistake.”

He means he was practicing the fine art of gamesmanship. But Allenby said he wasn’t bothered:

That’s match play. It does not matter, I will putt them all out if he wants. I’m happy to, I’m not going to miss them. I gave him four-footers but it does not bother me.

It’s all in the game.

AK ended up losing to Ross Fisher in the finals, but that’s besides the point — he won the battle that most of us really cared about. Now it’s just too bad that both AK and Allenby ruined the potential of bringing more entertainment to this so-called feud by dodging the controversial questions.

[Photo by Andrew Redington/Getty Images Europe]

We knew they would meet again, just not this soon. Anthony Kim and Robert Allenby will face-off tomorrow in the semifinals of the World Match Play Championships in Casares, Spain. With AK’s rep as a hardcore trash-talker, this has the potential to be the most entertainingly awkward match in recent history.

When Allenby accused AK of binge-drinking until the wee hours of the morning after losing to him in the Presidents Cup singles matches earlier this month, he unintentionally started some much-needed golfing drama. He also reopened the controversy over AK’s past notoriety as a party boy. Though AK vehemently denied the allegations, it brought into question whether he had actually reformed.

But according to AK, he has indeed come-to-Jesus and recognizes his responsibilities as a role model:

[…] Sometimes it’s easy to forget and just say, I’m 24 years old, I’ll do whatever I want. But I understand and have for the last year and a half, have been good about understanding that this is my job. There’s a lot of little kids that look up to me; I’d better represent myself and the companies that I do represent, well.

While AK said, “I’ll be in bed by 9:30,” (is that AM or PM?) I’m sure he’s well aware the clubs in Spain don’t get popping until 1AM and the shenanigans continue until the sun rises. So, perhaps he should just fall back to the same pre-tournament routine he supposedly took at the Presidents Cup.

But chances are he’s probably reading a book and drinking a warm glass of milk all by his lonesome in his hotel room.