Sheer torture: Kevin Na ponders his next shot
Gene Wojciechowski over at ESPN has just published an amusing article on the Tour’s slow play problem, generally, and Kevin Na, specifically. Gene spent the first round of the Bay Hill Invitational in the company of Na, Paul Goydos and Chad Campbell as they– in the complete absence of any obstructions, mind — wandered their way to a five-hour round.
“In the time it takes Kevin Na to hit a putt you can watch Seasons 1-6 of “Lost.” You can see your fingernails grow. You can retrace the voyages of Magellan.
I don’t know if Na is the slowest player in professional golf, but according to one PGA Tour rules official I spoke with Thursday, he’s in the Final Four of pokiness. Na is so slow that snails ask if they can play through.”
Aside from spending the time thinking of comical ways to relate Na’s pace of play, Gene also indulged his inner scientist, timing his subject and transcribing the minutiae of his pre-shot routine in all its numbing glory:
“A typical Na putting routine:
Place ball at marker … look at line from front … look at line from back … pick up ball … caddie lines up putt … caddie plumb bobs with wedge … place ball back at marker … line up putt … caddie plumb bobs again … two practice strokes … pick up mark and put in right pocket … two more practice strokes … putt.”
His caddy plumb bobs with a wedge… twice… on every putt!?!
After taking, I’m guessing, a few minutes after the round to collect himself and take stock of his life, Wojciechowski headed to the range to canvas opinion. Suggested courses of action ranged from doing nothing to summary execution, with the severity of the interviewees’ recommendations decreasing in direct relation to their level of guilt. Bubba Watson wants stroke penalties; Pat Perez, one suspects, dreams of a violent resolution; Jim Furyk (originator of the infuriating ‘set up to the putt then walk away and start all over again, goddamnit’ routine), on the other hand, isn’t convinced much can be done at all.
Unsurprisingly, this is a problem that doesn’t seem to be going anywhere anytime soon.
Conor
Tiger Woods would never play that slow. He told me so on Twitter.
Super slow play makes great TV. The tour wonders why golf is a fringe sport and doesn’t get greater acceptance. I can hit the fast forward (30 second skip ahead) on my DVR and most players still haven’t hit. You have to love golf to watch because it is painfully slow. At least in the case of Furyk when he does the goddamnit move I have a cue to hit the skip button again.
JF
I like Jim Furyk, but he is just just a hair less infuriating to watch putt than PlumbBob FatPants J.B and PlumbBob SadFace Kevin.
Fine all of them.
During the US Open at Bethpage 2009, Kevin Na played a round (I think 3rd) with Angel Cabrera. Angel was so discusted with his slow play I thought he would eliminate Kevin Na right on the course. I didnt hear what was said after the round, but Angel clearly expressed his discontent to Kevin. I dont think there was a hand shake.
Golf coverage sucks but it is not because of the slow play it is due to bad production. There is no reason why networks cant show us more shots and less talk.
Personally, I’ve had enough of Jimmy Roberts. But I think CBS coverage is the worse. I dont even watch the first 20 minutes of CBS coverage because it is all about Jim Nantz. Just tell us who is leading the tournament, a few highlights and then proceed to live play.
Using the DVR at double speed is the only way to go, in addition to the 30 second skip button.
The more the networks show these ungodly slow routines, the more Average Joe Golfer is going to start copying it, and nothing good can come from that. As a pretty quick player, it is already sometimes unbearable to play some of my local public courses because of slow play.
Slow play does not affect me in the slightest, that’s what TV editors are for. Nantz on the other hand…
It’s the fault of the staid nature of golf, we need to get up in slow guys faces – ruin their game not the other way around. I would love to see an NBA rookie tossing a sweatband in the air to test the breeze before a free throw and the spare guard brought in to ensure correct allignment and posture, see how long that would last with KG in the line up.
I’ll bet when Na is driving his car on the freeway he’s the guy doing 43 mph in the middle lane with his turn signal stuck on. blinker boy
anyone who watches golf live is not using their time wisely. dvr and the 30 second skip is the only way to go.
Heym, the same applies to football. While DVR-ing I play golf, then watch later in the evening. Takes about 30-40 minutes. Of course if my teams make bowl game or playoffs, I have to watch live.
Like I said before, group them together, stick them in the back regardless of their scores until they finally get tired of bad tee times and trampled greens. It’s so annoying when you’re walking w/ your favorite player and FREAKING NA is in the same group. If he’s likable like Ben Crane, it makes it less infuriating. But Na is really a douche about it like his $**t doesn’t stink, makes me want to scream when he takes the club back.
The penalty for repeated slow play warnings could be no TV coverage for one or two tournaments unless they are in the lead. It would not affect results or prize money. I bet the sponsors would think twice about paying to put their logos on a slow player though. If that doesn’t speed up Na then nothing will.
[...] 8. Play a round of golf with Kevin Na. [...]