Pooch Consumes Masters Tickets, Owner’s Dignity
By Conor Nagle under The Masters

A guilty-looking Swiss mountain dog.

Forget Tiger Woods. Forget Rory McIlroy. This is the story of Masters week.

Seattle resident Russ Berkman pawed (pun very much intended) through a puddle of his dog’s vomit to retrieve the remnants of four Masters tickets after the pet, a Swiss mountain dog named Sierra, consumed them in a moment of – I’m guessing – jealous rage.

Berkman, who won the tickets in a raffle, was upstairs packing when he sensed a disturbance in the Force. All was not well.

He told local radio station KJR:

“I came back an hour later and came back in the house, noticed there were a few strings on my hardwood floors, looked to be the strings connected to my Masters tickets…”

After a frenzied consultation with his girlfriend, Berkman opted to feed the dog an emetic and reassemble the day passes. Using a plastic bag and spatula, his efforts met with only partial success (“we got about 70% of the tickets put back together”).

It soon dawned on the pet owner, however, that ambling the fairways of Augusta National wearing partially digested, vomit-tinged tickets wasn’t the only option on the table.

He contacted tournament officials, explained his situation and was presented with a set of freshly-printed replacements.

Conor Nagle