The Donald’s Grave Will Be an Immovable Obstruction
By Conor Nagle under General


Given his obvious obsession with branding and the erection of roaring, ostentatious monuments to the cult of his own abrasive personality, it should come as no surprise to learn that Donald Trump, would-be owner of the “world’s greatest golf course”, has selected Trump™ National Golf Club as the site of his final resting place.

The billionaire has already negotiated an agreement with the town council of Bedminster, New Jersey – home of the 516-acre property – that permits the construction of a cemetery with as many as 500 graves (like a modern-day pharaoh or Bronze Age leader, it seems The Donald plans to take some obsequious minions along with him), but has yet to settle upon a suitable location.

Trump consultant Ed Russo believes his employer’s intentions are pure.

“It’s not Atlantic City in any way shape or form…

“If you have everything in the world, where would be that place you’d most like to be identified with going forward,” Russo said.  “His point was, this is a place where people respect each other.”

Early plans for a chapel or mausoleum on the site have been vetoed.

Michael Drewniak, a spokesperson for Governor Chris Christie, suggested residents “should be honoured that he’s considering New Jersey”.

Conor Nagle