Steady On, Belfast Telegraph…
By Conor Nagle under General

Holly Sweeney (C) on a recent night out in Belfast.

Rory McIlroy’s had his problems the Belfast Telegraph in the past, and now the Northern paper appears to be leading a crusade to cast the US Open champ’s ex-girlfriend, Holly Sweeney, as some kind of Kardashian-esque girl about town.

Though it had been making hay out of the pair’s break-up for weeks, it’s coverage hit fever pitch last Saturday, when Sweeney found herself the slightly bemused subject of a breathlessly enthusiastic feature in the paper’s Woman supplement. Based solely on the picture you see above, a group (a cackle? a gaggle?) of lifestyle “experts”, including a modeling agency boss, a PR consultant, a lifestyle journalist and, most ambiguously, a “style guru” all weighed in with guidance for the former WAG.

The style cliches came thick and fast.

“If you’ve got it, flaunt it — and Holly Sweeney’s got it in abundance.”

“I think Holly is trying to send a message to Rory to perhaps make him see what he has lost.”

I’m also led to believe that her heels were, indeed, “killer” and the perfect compliment to her “on trend” dress.

Today, the paper has announced Sweeney’s decision to join Dublin-based modeling agency Assets. The home of Ireland’s semi-professional socialites (if there’s a promotional yoghurt in need of promoting or a club in need of opening, you know who to call), this latest move should keep the university student in the tabloid eye for some time to come.

While McIlroy has the luxury of escaping this sort of scrutiny (see: his escape to America), the manner in which Sweeney’s been left to make the best of a bad situation brings another, altogether more relevant, cliche to mind: if you can’t beat them, join them.

Conor Nagle

— photo courtesy of the Belfast Telegraph.