Tiger Tweets Post-Thanksgiving Night: No Escalades or Fire Hydrants!
By Stephanie Wei under Tiger Woods

Good news — Tiger Woods managed to stay away from hopping behind the wheel of his Escalade and plowing into a fire hydrant and neighbor’s tree before his wife performed the miraculous smash and grab just outside the driveway of his Isleworth home this year. Oh, no Florida Highway Patrol troopers or Windermere police officers showed up as surprise guests, either.

In his fifth career-tweet, Tiger checked in with his 264,723 (and counting) followers on the year-anniversary of receiving The Most Expensive Traffic Ticket In The World: “Hope everyone had a great thanksgiving. I just finished a pretty tough cardio session this morning because of all the apple and pumpkin pie.”

It’s unclear where he had his Turkey feast, but apparently he spent it with his “family,” including his mother. Of course, there was no chance in hell that he could have had a worse holiday than the last one, but I can’t imagine Thanksgiving will ever be the same again.

Hope everyone had a wonderful time stuffing themselves with delicious food, getting drunk, falling asleep on the couch watching football and waking up to watch more football!