Thanks to Reader Mike for pointing out this hilarious posting from the Borowitz Report via HuffPost, “Tiger Woods: At Least I Didn’t Fuck the Entire Gulf of Mexico.” No, just almost every cocktail waitress and adult film star in Vegas clubland.
Sensing a public relations opportunity, golf legend Tiger Woods spoke out today on the BP oil spill, telling reporters, “At least I didn’t fuck the entire Gulf of Mexico.”
Initially stunned by his comment, reporters asked Mr. Woods to elaborate on his response to the oil spill crisis.
“Sometimes you can cause a lot more damage by drilling one hole as opposed to a thousand holes,” he said. “I’m just saying.”
For those of you unfamiliar with the Borowitz Report, it’s comedian Andy Borowitz’s satirical website. In other words, the “report” above is a spoof. Duh. I mean, Tiger isn’t funny enough to whip up those lines! But it would be amazing if he did say that.