During Kelly Tilghman’s interview with Tiger, she heedfully noticed he was wearing a bracelet and asked him its meaning. Tiger explained, “It’s Buddhist, it’s for protection and strength and I certainly need that.” He went on to clarify that he started wearing it before he entered treatment ($10 says it was a gift from his mother and/or Elin had a tracking device installed in it) and vows never ever to take it off.
With this magical bracelet, Tiger now has the willpower to refrain from boinking women not named Mrs. Woods.
I actually also have a Buddhist bracelet for protection that my mother gave me. She went to great lengths to get it from some friend of a friend who brought her to a secret place in the faraway land of Taiwan. Can’t you just buy these things from a normal Buddhist store? Not one that’s been blessed by a Tibetan monk!
Since I started wearing mine three years ago, I haven’t wanted to bang any porn stars (although Ron Jeremy is kind of cute…). So you see, it’s legit. I just hope Tiger had the good fortune to have his blessed by a higher being, too.