Mar
18
2010
Tiger Sexts to Porn Star Predictably Filthy [NSFW]
By Stephanie Wei under General

If there are lessons to take away from the Tiger Woods sex scandal, they would include 1) don’t leave your mistresses voicemails asking them to take their name off their phone because your wife might call, and 2) don’t send a gagillion sexts to porn stars you’re banging.

Joslyn James, best known for her starring roles in adults films like “Big Breasted Nurses” and “My First Sex Teacher #12,” unleashed 120 dirty, graphic text messages from Tiger. She even formed a website devoted to them called SextingJoslynJames.com (which keeps crashing due to massive volume).

Here’s a sampling (read them all here):

Tiger:Sent: 06:01 PM 07/30/2009:
I will leave an envelope at the front desk under ms daniels. Your room will be 305. Get settled and let me know when you are ready to see me. I will be i

Tiger:Sent: 06:01 PM 07/30/2009:
n room 201. You can come down the stair well next to your room. Make sure absolutely no one sees you

Tiger:Sent: 04:06 PM 08/28/2009:
I want to be deep inside you

Tiger:Sent: 04”02 PM 08/29/2009:
I want to treat you rough. Throw you around, spank and slap you

Tiger:Sent: 12:42 PM 09/08/2009:
I have to leave for an appearance at 430 but i will be back at 730 for dinner and lots of dessert with you. How about a quickie before i go:)

Tiger:Sent: 01:28 PM 09/08/2009:
Have you ever had a golden shower done to you

I know everyone wants to get back to talking about Tiger’s golf game, but these sexy text sessions actually might reveal something about his performance on the links. The sexts start July 30, the first round of the Buick Open, which Tiger won. He also took home the trophy the following week at the WGC-Bridgestone Invitational.

Then it appears he doesn’t see her for a few weeks. Perhaps “need[ing] that so bad” had something to do with his losing to Y.E. Yang at the PGA Championship. During The Barclays he tells James, “I want to be deep inside you.” Perhaps he needed something to take out the edge off after missing a seven-footer to place T2, “Next time i see you, you better beg and if you don’t do it right i will slap, spank, bite and fuck you till mercy.”

The following week in Boston he sounds very desperate to see her, especially after playing crappy (for him, at least). But at the Presidents Cup, James does something reckless, causing Tiger to be very angry. He texts, “Oh my god. If they were with me. You would have ruined everything” and “Don’t Fucking talk to me. You almost just ruined my whole life. If my agent and these guys would have seen you there, Fuck.” I assume this was before Elin arrived.

We also have confirmation that Tiger’s agent, Mark Steinberg, really didn’t have a clue about his double life:

Tiger:Sent: 10:40 AM 10/04/2009:
Guys from dubai. Investors. So my agent being suggested that we go back to my room at the mansion for lunch. He doesnt know about us, obviously

And these two add validity that the texts were from Tiger:

Tiger:Sent: 07:32 PM 09/08/2009:
You felt amazing to baby. How much was your flight by the way

Tiger:Sent: 08:01 PM 09/08/2009:
How much was your flight

Always the penny-pincher!

This is the real Tiger Woods. This is your hero. Who cares? Well, only Elin really should (and probably his sponsors). I just can’t see how she can take him back. Her husband sent these messages to a porn star!

Man, I bet Tiger wishes TigerText would have been invented a year earlier. So do we. When he tees it up in three weeks at Augusta, “get in the hole” will have a new meaning.

[Photo via NYDN]