The Audacity of Nope
By Stephanie Wei under General

Since President Obama took over the Oval Office, his time on the links has made some big headlines. But the Secret Service keeps his actual game hush-hush. For the 25 rounds he played this year, the press and cameras were banned and only several trusted staffers were present.

According to Elizabeth Williamson’s article in today’s edition of the Wall Street Journal, many basketball fans feel betrayed by the President’s neglect of his former passion, basketball — he’s only played seven known games as the Leader of the Free World — and complain about the classified nature of his golf habit. So, they’ve concluded that the furtiveness must be simply because Obama sucks at golf. And here’s the evidence backing the conspiracy theory:

*His score is a matter of “national security,” deflects David Axelrod, political adviser to the First Duffer.

*He would have had trouble getting out of any bunker in the country,” concludes Mr. [Gene] Mulak, [club professional at Vineyard Golf Club in Martha’s Vineyard, Mass.].

*Mr. Obama has a golf handicap in the mid-20s, considered weak to average, and a cramped swing that’s not so pretty.

*A recent anonymous posting on comes from a golfer who claims to have caught some of the action: “I had the misfortune of being stuck in a group on the same course as the Prez and his buddies and watching them play one hole in the time it took our foursome to play 3 was painful. The only thing stopping us from telling them to pick it up was the incredibly large security detail he had with him.”

On the upside, the President’s aides report that Obama, a man celebrated for his integrity and honor, doesn’t take mulligans and firmly heeds to the rules of golf — unlike former President Bill Clinton (surprise!). Still, the naysayers believe Obama should just give up the game and return to where he belongs: the basketball court.

I say, if the First Duffer wishes to hack his way around the course, then let him. Golf is a game of imperfection and for a man who masters everything besides wearing blue jeans properly, he won’t be stopping anytime soon.

[Photo via Morning Glass]